Hold On to Your Kids
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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • This parenting classic—as relevant today as it was when it was first published—shines a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our time: peers, social media, and on-screen culture replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it. With a new chapter addressing mental health in school-aged kids since the pandemic. Children take their lead from their friends: being ‘cool’ matters more than anything else.
Shaping values, identity, and codes of behaviour, peer groups are often far more influential than parents. But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous—it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious, and alienated. In Hold On to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with psychologist Gordon Neufeld to pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to ‘reattach’ to your children, make children feel safe and understood, and earn back your children's loyalty and love.
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- Random House Digital Inc.
- 9780307375490
- 9780676974720
- ePub
- 0
- Gordon Neufeld; Gabor Maté, MD
- English
- 2011-11-30
- 100
Kaflar
- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Note to the Reader
- Contents
- Part One: The Phenomenon of Peer Orientation
- Chapter 1: Why Parents Matter More Than Ever
- Chapter 2: Skewed Attachments, Subverted Instincts
- Chapter 3: Why We’ve Come Undone
- Part Two: Sabotaged: How Peer Orientation Undermines Parenting
- Chapter 4: The Power to Parent Is Slipping Away
- Chapter 5: From Help to Hindrance: When Attachment Works Against Us
- Chapter 6: Counterwill: Why Children Become Disobedient
- Chapter 7: The Flatlining of Culture
- Part Three: Stuck in Immaturity: How Peer Orientation Stunts Healthy Development
- Chapter 8: The Dangerous Flight from Feeling
- Chapter 9: Stuck in Immaturity
- Chapter 10: A Legacy of Aggression
- Chapter 11: The Making of Bullies and Victims
- Chapter 12: A Sexual Turn
- Chapter 13: Unteachable Students
- Part Four: How to Hold on to Our Kids (or How to Reclaim Them)
- Chapter 14: Collecting Our Children
- Chapter 15: Preserve the Ties That Empower
- Chapter 16: Discipline That Does Not Divide
- Part Five: Preventing Peer Orientation
- Chapter 17: Don’t Court the Competition
- Chapter 18: Re-Create the Attachment Village
- Part Six: A Postscript for the Digital Age (How to Hold on to Kids in the Era of Internet, Cell Phones, and Video Games)
- Chapter 19: The Digital Revolution Bent Out of Shape
- Chapter 20: A Matter of Timing
- Chapter 21: In Wake of the Pandemic: Peer Orientation and the Youth Mental Health Crisis
- Acknowledgments
- Glossary
- Notes
- Index
- About the Authors